Introduction

Hi, and welcome to my blog; hopefully it will survive my frequent periods of silence that tend to plague me in these things. I had a LiveJournal (a blog-esque site) for years, but haven't posted in... probably years, and so I decided to begin anew, here.

As my brief description says, I'm a disabled recluse, and I'll quickly detail that here. Ever since puberty (I'm 37 now), I've suffered from a general lack of energy and depression. It was only seven years ago that a medical student realized that a hormonal disorder (this, after seeing various doctors about my problems for many years prior), called Hypogonadotropic Hypogonadism.

Basically, I have a tiny tumor on my pituitary gland (which is just under the center of one's brain), which caused an overflow of prolactin at the expense of producing a man's "go juice," testosterone. Prolactin, meanwhile, is the hormone that allows a pregnant woman to lactate... a somewhat emasculating fact to hear. Everyone has trace amounts of prolactin, but mine was seriously elevated (though nowhere near the point in which I could lactate).

One reason that this was finally discovered by this student was that he was studying endocrinology, but also I was experiencing depression and a decline in energy for months. Soon after the condition's discovery (this is in the year 2000), I began a nosedive that made my previous condition look like chronic happiness. By the end of that year, I had become an overweight, suicidal shut-in; it was only because of my brothers and mother that I pulled through.

I still suffer from chronic depression, exhaustion, sudden sleepiness, short-term memory loss, and so on, but to nowhere near the extent of my darkest hours/weeks/months/years. It's impossible to truly describe what it's been like these seven years, day in and day out, spending all of my thirties in dead time. I have been getting better ever since, in steps that can't be characterized as baby steps... maybe baby turtle steps... or not even, and with constant setbacks. I've been on a variety of medication (am currently on a daily cocktail of six kinds), and am on Social Security for mental illness. My days are generally filled with distractions: computer gaming being a major one, while I'm minoring in movie-watching, music-listening, game development (a variant of Dungeons & Dragons... yes, I'm a complete geek), and frequent thought and concern regarding government, politics, and current issues. This last passion will feed the bulk of this blog, though these other topics will definitely surface on occasion.

Oh... a note: I'm verbose. I'll attempt to first encapsulate my ramblings in the opening paragraph of each post, and then expand on such abbreviation; but I'm sure this won't always be the case.